Thursday, February 26, 2009

Academy Awards Recap - With 4 Day Delay!

How has it taken me 4 whole days to get around to my Oscars recap? I could blame the 9 to 5 rat race, or make up a really great lie about being hit by a snow-plow . . . but the simple truth is - I am lazy.

Also, this year's Oscars was not all that exciting, in my humble opinion. Yes, yes, it was the typical, over-the-top, self-congratulatory Hollywood glam-fest that we all love . . . but still, there was some element of magic missing this year. Luckily, I watched the ceremony at Venn's Awesome Oscar Party - where fab food, booze, and friends made up for the lack of Hollywood excitement. Further evidence that we should have our own TV pilot . . . but I digress.

Oscar Hits!

Kids of Mumbai!
Ok, you all know how I feel about Brangelina (more about that in a minute) . . . but seeing these absolutely adorable Indian kids on the red carpet made me want to hop on a plane and go adopt some. Of course, I would probably have them taken away from me after making them dance and say "Who wants to be a . . . .millionaire?!" over and over, all day, every day . . . but still, a girl can dream, right?

Tina Fey!
We only saw her and Steve Martin for 2 minutes, but they were easily the best 2 minutes of the whole show. Academy, I hope you were taking notes . . . Fey for Host 2010!!

I love that so many of the big awards went to out-of-towners this year. The international winners tend to be either super-eloquent and to the point in their acceptance speeches . . . or charmingly devoid of the English skills needed for an acceptance speech. Either way, you can't lose.

The best speech of the night, however, was given by a good 'ol, corn-fed, Mormon-born American - Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black who won for Best Original Screenplay. Cheers, brother, for bringing home the message of equality and hope in sincere and moving statement!

Sophia Loren!
Some might say she looked like a poster girl for sun-damage, or that her dress appeared to be savaged by wolves (or lusty Italian pool-boys) . . .but I still give mad props to my homegirl Sophia for bein' sex-tacular at 85 or however old she is. You can totally tell she tans, smokes and drinks without giving an eff . . . and that's probably why she's still goin' strong! Ciao bella!

Oscar Misses!

Presentation of Acting Awards = Praise Orgy?
What was up with the new presentation format for the major acting awards? Bringing out 5 previous winners to gush on and on about the 5 nominees . . . Hollywood, is this night not grandiose enough for you? The best thing about these awards is watching the 4 losers try to suck it up and maintain their dignity. If you have Whoopi Goldberg come out and tell you, "You are like a gorgeous ray of sunshine that lights up a movie screen with brilliance . . ." where's the sting in losing?

Get Queen Latifah Out of the Middle of My Death Montage
My favorite part of any good awards show is the gut-wrenching montage honoring all the actors and directors and publicists who have died in the past year. Take some old school black and white photos, put them to an orchestral score, and suddenly every dead cinematographer from the 1940's is like your grandpa . . . "Why!? Why God?! I don't want to live in a world without . . . . wait, what was his name again?"

This year's death montage was interrupted by a live vocal performance by Queen Latifah. While I've got nothin' against the Queen, her diva-licious presence on the stage distracted us (and the camera operators, who clearly had no clue what to focus on) from the mourning process. Queen Latifah, someday you will get your 20 second sepia toned death-tribute . . . just be patient.

Actually Agreeing With Peter Gabriel . . .
Peter Gabriel was right -- the presentation of the Best Original Song nominees was effed. While I looooove me a good Bollywood dance number (or 2, or 5) -- trying to mix those hot Indian dance beats with a soaring Gabriel love ballad from a animated robot romance doesn't really work. Still, I was plased that my Bollywood friends took home the award.

I don't actually have a reason why they brought the evening down, I'm just contractually obligated to hate them every 5 blog-posts or so.

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