Saturday, January 31, 2009

out of the blue

Last day of the month.

I wish I'd found this article sooner:
Amanda on Creating & Meditating . . .

I'm taking that with me as I go forth. That, and this:

Off to bask in the sweet glow of Bollywood!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

better things are coming

So, January is almost over. Was it good for you, baby?

No, actually . . . January kinda sucked. As it often does.

There were a few highlights . .. we got a new president who is not intent on destroying mankind. The new series Toddlers and Tiaras premiered on TLC. I managed not to break a limb on the icy sidewalks of death.

I am learning to appreciate the little things.

I have not become a rockstar.

Maybe I have started to adopt an attitude of “I don’t care, world! I’m doin’ my own thing!” . . . but have I really started doing my own thing? This month, I spent a lot of time huddled in my apartment, hiding from the cold.

If I am so easily defeated by the weather . . . how will I ever take on The Man?

This was probably not a good theme for the first month of the year. Too vague. Too easily shrugged off. Maybe I should have stuck with the rest of America and vowed to lose 10 pounds.

Except I haven’t done that either.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately -- mostly at work. In an effort to improve the quality of this venture, I’ve made some notes on what makes for compelling blog-reading:

1. Daily (or near-daily) updates. This seems to be the crucial ingredient for building a regular blog readership. If people can depend on a new post every day, reading your blog will become part of their daily routine. Never mind if your posts are mostly, “Hi world – today I made oatmeal and washed my kitchen floor!” . . . if you are consistent in recording the banalities of your day to day existence, people like myself (with equally boring lives) will read it. The Circle of Boredom has no end!

2. Be someone people either love to hate, or want to befriend. I enjoy reading the blogs of people I believe are dorks / tards / a-holes almost as much as I like reading the blogs of people I think are super-cool. I guess the key is to be a real person. Even if your real personality happens to suck.

3. Get a gimmick. Even if it’s as basic as: “I’m gonna document all my meals/ outfits / craft projects.” Or, “Every Tuesday, I’m gonna write about fashion, and every Thursday I”ll write about world politics.” Having guidelines makes it easier to come up with crap to say on a daily basis (see #1).

So . . . I guess my gimmick is that I’m attempting to revamp one tiny area of my life each month . . . in a very non-commital, abstract-y kinda way.

Step #2 – I need to post more. Even when I have nothing to say.

Step #3 – You can love me or hate me, bitches! I don’t care! (my attitude adjustment goal for January might be working after all.)

Since February is a short month, it’ll be the perfect time to up the posting ante to once daily. Even if the post is a giant photo of me weeping -- it counts.

I have also picked my theme for February. It is both predictable, and . . . not. It will require more definite action on my part, at any rate. Let’s see if it’s more successful than my half-hearted attempts at throwing off the shackles of my down-trodden, worker-bee lifestyle.

I can’t wait for Groundhog Day.

Friday, January 23, 2009

red-headed stepchild

As I think I've mentioned (several times) . . .my day-to-day life is not very exciting. Get up. Sit in cube. Go home. Do errands. Watch tv. Sleep. Repeat.

I thought maybe a new hairstyle would jumpstart my "rockstar" vibe.


(Note: hair actually much redder than it may appear)

I've been going to Liquid Hair Studios for awhile now -- and its everything you could ever want in a "hair studio". Check it:

My stylist, Sara, is like a punk rock fairy-godmother. I love her. I walked in the door and was basically like, "please give me something bright and badass for this long, miserable winter!" and she was all, "Aye, aye capt'n!" And then I sat in a chair and ate Truffle Hershey Kisses and read Spin while she worked her magic.

Right now, hair has been blow-dried into this flippy bob situation, which I enjoy for its retro-ness. But it will work just as well in its usual bed-headed glory. Tres chic.

It's amazing what a new 'do can do. I am definitely feelin' more sass-tastic and exciting today. Maybe because its Friday. Or maybe because I'm a redhead again.

Redheads get away with so much shit. I discovered this when I first started coloring my hair. At the height of my distingusihed barista-ing career, I found I could pretty much make fun of customers to their faces -- and somehow, I got away with it. I think the firey locks helped. Or maybe it was the fact that I'd call everyone "Honey," even as I was messing with their latte.

Be kind to your barista. She has the power to give you decaf.

Ah, well. At least my hair has been rocked out this month . . . even if the rest of me has been too busy hibernating.

Happy Friday, people!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


So long, muthafuckahs!

It it me, or is the sun shining a little brighter today?

It's a new day, people! A new day, a new world, a new President.

I no longer feel the need to pretend to be Canadian.

This is a new feeling, this "i heart USA!" vibe I'm currently rocking. I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Tiny American flags and country music still don't have much appeal. But this morning, I woke up believing that we have the power to make the world a better place. That I, a selfish, cynical 20-something, can actually make a difference.

I got up and did yoga, that's how good I'm feelin!

Of course, that feeling was pretty much gone after my morning train ride.

Still . . . there's something special about today. Like we've all collectively turned over a new leaf. Possibilities are endless. Can we do it? Yes we can!

Thanks, Mr. President, for Barack-ing my world. And for not revoking my civil liberties because I've made lame puns with your name.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

on the wave of mutilation . . .

It’s hard to live like a badass, punk-cabaret rockstar when you have a 9 to 5 job. Also, when you live in a place where the average temperature in January hovers between 25 degrees and death.

The cold weather brings me down, people.

I think this is why people are happier, healthier and hotter in California. The winters in New England do to people what they do to cars – rust ‘em up and make ‘em old before their time. If I lived in LA, I would have spent my lunch break doing yoga in a park or eating some sort of organic wrap on a sunny pier. Instead, I spent it sitting in a tiny grey cubicle, frowning at the 5 day forecast.

Suffering is good for the soul, though, right? The cold builds character.

I received an email about this today:

New Kids on the Block Cruise!

So many awesome elements of this to ponder:

Will the New Kids on the Block be on the boat the entire time? Will they actually be mingling with other cruisers poolside /at the midnight buffet? Will there been NKOTB related activities? “Attention passengers – Danny Wood will be giving break-dance lessons on Deck Five in a half an hour!”

What will they be doing to prevent a crazed-fan-threatens-to-jump-overboard-in-order-to-get-the-attention-of-Donnie-Wahlberg-incident? Will passengers need some sort of signed release from a therapist before boarding?

Is this a fan base that is ready for a charter cruise? When I think “Die Hard New Kids Fan” – I think gum poppin’, fake-tannin’ 30-somethings who are still completely entrenched the early ‘90s . . . from the excessive use of hairspray, to nights spent hanging out in random mall parking lots getting high on Robitussin. They’ve been there, and they’ve got the unfortunate tattoos and the high-school aged children to prove it. Should we be putting a group of these women on a boat together? I feel like it’s a recipe for a Rock of Love style blow-out, but on a much grander scale . . . and on the open sea.

Is there such a thing as *too much* New Kids on the Block?

I seriously hope someone makes a documentary film about this cruise. Or, at the very least, sets up a live webcam / blogfeed.I’d give anything to be a fly on the wall of that boat . . . well, anything besides the $1299 cruise ticket!!! You’ve gotta be shitting me.

It's a crazy world, people. And I kinda effing love it.

I might just make it to spring after all . . .

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

and now, some thoughts on the golden globes . . .

I love celebrities. I love to watch them, love to hate them, love to pretend that I’m actually best friends with them. Maybe I have problems . . . or maybe I’m just Hollywood’s dream demographic – the girl who will buy the perfume she’s never smelled because she’s a little obsessed with the actress / model / singer / celebrity tattoo artist in the ad campaign.

So, it goes without saying that I love awards shows. Give me Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet, some uncomfortably long acceptance speeches, and a montage about the “Magic of Sound Editing” . . . and I’m happier than a pig in shit.

The Golden Globes is the official run up to the granddaddy of all Awards Extravaganzas – the Oscars – but they definitely hold their own in the Battle for Award Show Supremacy.

Things I love about the GG's:

1. TV.

Would it be wrong of me to start a religion based on the wisdom and teachings of Tina Fey? Seriously . . . if this lady ordered me to eat Sabor de Soledad chips laced with arsenic, I would. Be my cult leader, Tina!

Ok, that’s disturbing. Moving on . . .

2. Booze.

The Golden Globes differ from the Oscars in that the celebs are encouraged to drink throughout the ceremony, so odds are good that there will be incoherent, drunken awesomeness. Please -- starve yourself for two weeks to fit into a borrowed, couture gown, down an entire bottle of free champagne . . . and then get up on that stage and tell us your thoughts about endangered species / the President / Madonna. Yes! Your public loves you!

The Award for Most Drunken Acceptance Speech of 2009 goes to this cherub:

I’m not familiar with Sally Hawkins -- but she’s British, which means she must be a good time. The highlight of her speech was when she stopped in the middle of her slurred, teary rambling, and shouted, “Emma, where are you?” And the cameras cut to Emma Thompson, who was sitting in the audience, waving frantically and mouthing “Are you ok?!” Oh, Emma Thompson . . . you are mother to the world.

If you cannot hold the trophy and talk at the same time – you might be wasted.

If you decide to go off Tele-Prompter and make glib jokes about your former cocaine addiction – you might also be wasted.

If you get up on stage with a beer in hand and make Holocaust jokes – you are Ricky Gervais, the funniest man alive.

Basically, the Globes prove once again that booze can only make a situation better . . . when it’s not making a situation worse.

3. Foreigners.

The Hollywood Foreign Press reminds us all that there is world entertainment beyond New York and LA . . . and often, it is far superior. Kate Winslet? Slumdog Millionaire? That guy who plays Borat? . . . need I go on? If not for the Globes, I wouldn’t know that movies like this, or this great one about the mafia, even existed.

And now its time for a segment I like to call People I Love to Hate:

Look, Brangelina sent their Madame Tussaud’s wax likenesses to the Golden Globes . . . . oh, wait a minute . . .

Tom’s in a rush – the chloroform he used on Katie Holmes and his freakishly doll-like robot baby will be wearing off soon.

Something about this girl just makes me really angry.

Seriously, Hollywood? I don’t remember the New Kids on the Block ever showing up at A-List red carpet events. Why? Because their fan base was made up exclusively of pre-teen girls who would rather watch Full House than find out who won Best Foreign Film of the year. One would like to assume the same applies to these dudes . . . or has the line between tween culture and regular society really blurred that much? Do people actually take these kids seriously? Miley Cyrus is not a musician or an entertainer, people. She’s the exploited meal ticket of some washed up hillbillies. Sound familiar?:

And now – for the Best Globe-ages of the Golden Globes:

Friday, January 9, 2009

Nine Completely Achievable Goals for '09

1. Wear eyeliner every day
2. Read a book
3. Gain 100 pounds and apply to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser . . or, just stop dieting
4. Do dishes with some semblance of regularity
5. Reach "Expert" level drumming for at least one Rock Band song
6. Stay up later
7. Shop more
8. Be unapologetically proud of my tv watching and pop-culture obsessions
9. Go to the beach

Every year at about this time, I am full of big plans. Gonna become an athlete, write a novel, travel the world . . .

And by February, I am curled up on the couch watching a Celebrity Rehab marathon while consuming an entire box of Valentine's candy I bought for myself.

This year, I'm not setting myself up for failure.

In addition to the completely do-able To Do List above, I've decided to just take it one month at a time this year. Life is overwhelming enough . . . no need to make it more stressful by trying to plan and predict beyond the next 30 days.

So . . . January. We're already 9 days in! That's ok, though. This January is all about Adjusting my Attitude . . . channeling some new mo-jo . . . gettin' back in touch with the sassy-ass, creative side of myself that spent 2008 slowly withering away in a poorly-lit cubicle.

I wanna be more like her.

I want my personality to be on display for the world to see, and I want to be unapologetic about it. I want to be passionate about my art again. I want to be one part punk-rocker, one part zen-goddess, a dash of intellectual and infused with overall sexiness.

Most importantly, though -- I wanna figure out who the hell I am. And if that means observing and emulating the things I love about other people . . . its a start man! It's a start.