Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Laugh Riot

What happened to my dutiful daily blog posts? Sorry, people. This is a perfect example of why I continue to lag behind in the Journey to Life Fulfillment – lack of dedication.

I *did* make good on my commitment to comedy, though! Monday night was my first BCAE Stand Up class. I’ll admit – I was prepared for anything: A room full of sociopathic lonely people looking for an audience for their amusing pet bird stories. A bitter, washed-up “teacher” bent on heckling us all to tears. Discovering that I might not actually be that funny. Bring it on, Adult Education Place – I can take it!

Fortunately, my classmates appear to be normal and friendly, and our teacher is a young, genuine guy who is really in to sharing his love of comedy. We’ve got 6 weeks of class to build our routine, and then we’ll be doing a “Show” for an audience of family and friends! Hahaha – suckahs!

I’m really excited about this. I’m excited to have “homework” that involves making note of all the whacked-out, hilarious shit that goes on in my day, excited to have a “hobby” that doesn’t involve complaining and /or binge-drinking. Whether or not people who don’t know me will actually find me amusing remains to be seen. I’d pray about it, but I suspect Jesus probably remembers all the jokes I’ve made at his expense over the years. So I will just have Hope – Obama-style.

The only downside to the class is that it gets out at 9:45pm. I’m not one of those girls who fears wandering around after dark – but the MBTA seems determined that I should be assaulted. I waited in the creepy bowels of Boylston Station for a good 15 minutes for a Green Line train going to Lechmere. When one finally arrived, it was pretty sparsely populated – students, night shift workers, some sleepy drunks. No worries. I was being lulled into a “T-coma” myself, until we pulled into North Station and all hell broke loose.

The conductor suddenly announced that North Station will be the last stop. We all grumbled our way off the train – and into the angry mob crowded on the platform. Lots of drunk, tired people in Celtics garb. This could not end well.

“This is the THIRD TRAIN to come through here Out of Service! We’ve been waiting for 20 MINUTES!!” an irate middle-aged woman shouted at the T driver.

Hi lady – welcome to every day of my goddamn life. I have learned to accept the fact that the T is going to leave my stranded. It’s like the pot-smoking older brother of mass transit systems. It knows it’s supposed to come get you . . . but it has other stuff to do.

Now, the only time I find myself mustering actual anger towards the T is when it compromises my safety. Like leavin’ me hanging at an unlit bus stop at 11 o’clock at night for 45 minutes. Or forcing me off the train into an angry mob. Even the MBTA employees were starting to look nervous – although they adhered to the T’s strict customer service policy of ignoring everyone.

Angry lady started kicking the Out of Service train that was left idling on the platform for another 10 minutes. I doubt she could have done much damage, but I was getting more concerned about the drunk, pissed off frat boys who were debating prying open the train doors and refusing to get off.

Just when it seemed I’d be living out that romantic childhood dream of sleeping on a bench in a railway station – a train came. Crammed in with my boozy brethren, I kept thinking, “There’s comedy to be found in this situation, I know it . . . and I will find it, once I get the eff off this train.”

Teacher says life is one big stand up riff. Apparently I’ve been inadvertently preparing for this class since birth. Time to go do my homework!

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