shame on tea -- an extremely belated/half-assed red carpet recap

I know, I know - all has been quiet here at One Girl, 12 Ways. Sorry, readers. My bad!

So, I've been planning to do a Red Carpet Recap of the Golden Globes. I started hunting the internets for suitable photos of all my fav celebs . . . and then the People's Choice Awards happened, and the SAG's -- and suddenly I was overwhelmed with red carpet pics. Two weeks later, my thoughts on the Golden Globes seem pretty irrelevant. Now it's full steam ahead to Oscar season!

I am making strides towards my goal of seeing all the Academy Award nominated films before the big night. Which some might argue is a nonsensical feat. Since the Academy Awards outcome will have no direct impact on my life whatsoever. Also, actual nominees have not even been announced yet.

Whatever! This pop-culture whore flies in the face of common sense / reality!

So I'm basing my current movie-viewing line-up on all the other award show nominations of the season. In fact, I am heading off in a bit to see another potential Oscar contender this afternoon! When the actual shortlist is announced for reals, I'll give you my picks.

But for now, here are a few of my favorite moments from the 2010 red carpet season thus far . . .


Oh, what I would give to be sittin' at this table! Though I must admit, I enjoyed Tina's SAG awards dress more . . .



. . . but really, you could put this sistah in a burlap sack and she'd still be freakin' hilarious and amazing.



And speaking of Golden Globes vs. SAG Awards fashion, which Gabourey Sidibe ensemble do we like more?:

Golden Globes



SAG Awards.

My vote is for the SAG-blue number. I personally think all the "rhinestones" on the green dress are kinda "TJ Maxx salesrack". Hell, for all I know, they could be real emeralds. I'm just sayin' . . . from here, it looks a little "Isaac Mizrahi for Wal-Mart".

Please note my heavy use of "quotations" to denote my "opinions" in the previous "paragraph".

Can I also take this moment to say -- I hope we see more of Gabourey in Hollywood. Apparently, there are some people out there who don't quite understand that she's an actress. Yeh, and guess what -- Mariah Carey isn't a social worker, either! It's, like, make-believe!


Now for more people I love and the clothes they are wearing . . .

Carey Mulligan . . . my girl-crush of the week . . .





Betty White, my girl-crush of all time!




Jane Lynch, you were robbed!


Now, it seems that some media outlets have labeled Mad Men's Christina Hendricks a "big girl". Say wha? I don't see it . . .




Um, yeh -- she has boobs. Just like our awesome-hot friend, Penelope Cruz:



Those aren't "big girls", people. Those are women who look like actual women and not tanned, botoxed lollipop sticks. I would gladly swap bods with Christina Hendricks. Or Helen Mirren, for that matter:


And finally -- while both of these looks might have been trashed by the rag-mags, I give these girls snaps for doin' their thing:

Am I the only one who really enjoys this sparkly hoodie number? It's for an after-party, people! Come on!





I'll stand by you, Amanda Palmer! I'll stand by you!