hit the ground running (or in my case, walking)

How is it already 7:30pm? Funny, how time flies when you're out being productive! I've gone a whole day without watching a single episode of Real Housewives of Orange County or Teen Cribs. And I don't even miss it. Much.

So, what have I been doing with my valuable daytime tv watching time? I'm glad you asked!



Today was my inaugural day of "volunteering" at the Cambridge Public Library!

Volunteering is in quotes because, while there is no official volunteer program / position for me at this time, my library administrative coordinator contact (a friend of my dental hygienist) has offered to give me projects on an as-needed basis. She's also going to pass my name along to the Friends of the Library committee, to see if I can help with any of their upcoming programming. She is hopeful that by the fall, when I'm officially in school full time, there will be more opportunities to work with the library on a regular basis. Can we say boo-yeh?

The reason the CPL is in such chaos is because they've just moved into a brand spankin' new building. It is squeaky-clean-wonderful-gorgeous. My time spent slaving under a regime of architects who specialized in "light-filled, community gathering spaces" gives me a special appreciation for the library's awesome new layout. Sunny reading areas. A Harry Potter-esque study room in the refurbished historic wing. An amazing new "Teen Lounge." Man, I love this place!

I am a dork.

But I don't care!

So yeh, I didn't get to do anything really "librarian-y" today. Which is fine, because I have not yet begun my official librarian training. Instead, I got to put together brochure packets that pimp the awesomeness of the new library. Needless to say, I read a lot of brochure packets while I worked.

Fortunately, reading is encouraged at the library.

True confession time -- I love collating. It's true. When I'm not under a major deadline, I find repeatedly bundling massive piles of papers in specific order extremely relaxing. My imagination wanders. I think about my life, and if it would make a good sitcom. I think it has potential. Especially if I could somehow finagle it so all my friends had apartments in my building. Then we could make a reality-sitcom. A reali-com? A Doc-com?

Then I start thinking about what the theme song to my reality-sitcom would be . . .

And poof -- three hours later, I'd created 500 new brochure packets! And the library staff was amazed at my collation stamina! It's a win-win!

As payment for today's efforts, I was given a little library freebie:


So here's hoping my library hook-up calls me back for more random fun at some point soon! Just being in the building, meeting people and doing random little housekeeping chores is a treat at this point -- and hopefully, will lead to bigger and better library adventures in the future!

The second half of my day was so mind-blowing, I think it deserves a post all its own. I'll give you a hint, though -- it involves sweat, guidos, and risk-taking of both the physical and financial sort.

Any guesses?

its time for . . . Tales From the Treadmill!

Picture it -- Golds Gym Somerville, 2010.

I was strolling along on the treadmill like I normally do, after successfully convincing myself that my "walk-jog" routine will start Monday. Everyone knows, diets / exercise plans / weeks start on Mondays. Duh.

I was listening to The Hater podcast and trying not to laugh out loud like a creepy freak, as I'm sometimes apt to do. This week Amelie Gillette is making fun of Tyra Banks, Oprah, the Jonas Brothers and Domino's Pizza. I effing love her.

Suddenly, I'm aware of someone standing on the vacant treadmill to my right, staring and gesturing at me. My first thought was that this is "Ghostbusters dude". What -- I've never told you about Ghostbusters dude? Allow me to indulge in a brief tangent here:



There's a guy at my gym who is apparently a huge fan of my "Ghostbusters shirt". It's just a black t-shirt with the Ghostbusters logo on the front -- suitable attire for dive bars, the gym, job interviews at the Sav-Mor Liquor Store. Nothing special.

The first time I wore it to the gym, this guy stopped right in front of my elliptical machine and started talking at me. Which was pointless and annoying, because I was listening to the Glee soundtrack at top volume and couldn't hear what the eff he was saying. At first I thought he was a fomer match.com date, come back to awkwardly remind me of some unreturned phone message or something -- but no, this dude merely wanted to tell me how much he liked my Ghostbusters shirt.*

"Ghostbusters, man! I remember that movie! That's so cool! Where'd you get it?"

"Thanks . . . uh . . . Target, I think?"

"That's awesome!"

A few minutes later, he came back with a friend, and proceeded to proudly point out my Ghostbusters shirt to his buddy. His friend, to his credit, looked confused and embarrassed.

"Dude, remember Ghostbusters?"

"What?" said his friend.

"Ghostbusters -- that movie! With that guy . . . that was the logo!"

"Oh yeh . . . I don't know if I ever saw that . . ."

"Whaaaaat?! Are you serious?!"

So they went on. I stopped even pretending to be a part of the conversation and cranked up my ipod once again, and eventually, they wandered away.

So, needless to say, the Ghostbusters shirt was taken out of gym rotation for several weeks. When, at last, the day came when all my other gym tees were in the laundry and I was forced to don the GB tee -- dude was right there in front of my treadmill again!!!

Him: "Heeey!" [gives thumbs up on shirt]

Me: [startled, confused stumbling, followed by embarrassed nod / thumbs up]

Seriously? Does this guy just wander around the gym checkin' out people's outfits? If so, I pity him -- because Golds Gym Somerville is certainly not a fashionista gym. Unless the hot new trend in workout wear is "moving company t-shirts, old sweatpants, and ill-fitting support garments". They had to post a sign at the front desk stating: "As of January 1, 2010, No Jeans Allowed".

I'm no athlete, but even I know you shouldn't wear jeans to the effing gym. Come on, people!

Ok, end tangent.




So back to today's treadmill visitor. It was, thankfully, not Ghostbusters dude. It was a guy wearing an official Golds Gym Somerville shirt, which immediately made me nervous. What did I do? I wasn't wearing jeans . . . did they notice that the last time I was here, I failed to wipe down the treadmill when I was done? What -- its not like I touch the damn thing other than to press the Start / Stop button! Get over it!

But no, Official Gym Employee had not come to scold me. He had come to gently shame me.

Him: "Hi, My name is Ron. I don't think I've seen you at the gym before -- how long have you been a member?"

Me: "Um . . . awhile . . ." [by awhile, I meant 4 years. although clearly, the effects of 4 years of gym membership are not immediately apparent when looking at me in all my gym-clothed glory]

Him: "Oh, ok -- so you're getting back into it for the New Year!"

Me: "Right!"

Him: "Has anyone ever talked to you about doing a free personal training session?"

Me: "Uh . . . no . . ." [but they have approached to me comment on my t-shirts / oogle me]

Him: "Is that something you'd be interested in?"

Me: "Kinda . . . I gotta be up front with you though -- I'm not gonna be able to commit to paying for sessions, because I have no job." [ and I'm pretty sure that once you watch me attempt a sit-up, or a crunch or whatever -- you're probably not gonna wanna train me, either.]

Him: "Totally understandable . . . just see what training's all about . . . blah, blah, blah . . . should I put you down for Monday at 4?"

This is usually the part of any pitch where I break the sales-person's heart with, "Weeellllllll . . . let me think about it . . ." and then run out the door and never return. But today, I thought to myself -- what the hell? I've been coming to this sweaty pit for 4 years, and I still can't touch my freakin' toes. Maybe it is time to switch it up, get some "professional" advice.

Which is exactly what they want you to think.

Damnit. Clearly, the treadmill is my kryptonite. Corner me on one and I'll agree to anything.

Ron obviously saw me as fresh meat. Sauntering along at an easy 3.5 miles per hour, occasionally snickering to myself. Oooooh yeh, he thoughtThere's a girl who's enjoying the gym too much. There's a girl who needs some pain. .

Ron's parting words to me were, "Bring water and a towel, and come prepared to sweat."

I should have told him, "Ok. You bring Band-Aids and a face mask, and be prepared to call 911 at some point."

Instead, I actually said, "Ok, great! Nice to meet you! Can't wait for you to kick my ass!"

The moral of these stories: I need to stop being friendly to people at the gym. Or anywhere. Or just walk around laughing out loud to myself at all times, so they'll stay away.






*Just so we're clear, I am aware that this dude was probably more interested in my "lovely lady ghosties" than my "shirt". I can be clueless . . . but not that clueless.

ten for '10

A new decade, a new adventure, a new blog layout! I'm fairly certain that the image blogger has randomly superimposed into this template is the Boston Public Garden, yes? Or is it one of the many other "monuments to men on horses" that exist all over the world? Whatever -- I'm choosing to believe it is a photo of my hometown, and therefore this template was designed especially for moi!

So - I didn't have the heart to scrap all the "One Girl, 12 Ways" biz from 2009. Even though my efforts to improve myself with monthly themes didn't work out so well -- I feel like it should stand as a monument to a strange, transition year in my life. RIP, 2009 - Viva 2010!

You may have noticed a small addition to the blog title. That's because -- drumroll please --



I've been accepted to the Simmons Grad School of Library Science!

I'm trying not to let the word "science" scare me too much. The word "library" counteracts the traumatic memories of high school Chemistry.

School officially starts in May, which means I've got a few months to clear the cobwebs out of my head, figure out a job situation and prepare myself for being a full-time student once again. Fortunately, I enjoy school -- so much, in fact, that my goal is now to work in an academic-type setting for the rest of my days. No more late-night deadlines, no kissing CEO ass, no blah-blah-blah corporate bottom lines. No more gray, windowless cubicles! Bring on some dusty, windowless bookshelves!

So this year, the blog is gonna be a lot less "theme-y" and a lot more . . . "life-y"? A humorous peek into Tea's wacky world, and a place to record all my little adventures.

Also -- there will be lots of book reviews.

So, its time to list my 10 Completely Achievable Goals for 2010. Lets not dwell on the fact that I "achieved" very few of my 2009 Goals. A new year -- a clean slate. Here we go:


10 Completely Achievable Goals for 2010
1. Go to Grad School
2. Get a new couch / pull up nasty-ass carpeting in my apt
3. Keep my nails painted and not let them get all chipped and gross
4. Do yoga. Regularly. For real!
5. Learn to play an instrument so our amazing band, T&A, will take off (tambourines count, people -- we're talking "achievable" goals here!)
6. Run / jog / briskly walk a 5k
7. Volunteer at 826 Boston
8. See all the Academy Award nominated movies ( i need to get on this, like, now)
9. Write something -- short story, screenplay, lyrics for amazing T&A songs . . .
10. Go to the beach, again!

Ha! I don't know how "achievable" some of those are . . . considering last year I didn't manage to "wear eyeliner everyday" or "do my dishes with some semblance of regularity". But we'll see . . . even if I semi-achieve half of these things, I'll be living a productive life. So get on my ass, friends -- remind me to start running / volunteering / movie-watching.

It's gonna be a hell of a year, folks -- get ready!

december will be magic

we have reached the end of the year! sort of!

december is upon us, folks. i know this because my little corner of east cambridge is suddenly a-glow with christmas lights. this makes me happy. i'm a sucker for tacky holiday decorations.

what a wacky year it has been! i know there are still technically 28 days left in 2009, but i can't help but look back at where i was 11 months ago.

let's bust out the Completely Achievable Goals for 2009 list, shall we?

1. Wear eyeliner every day
not sure i fulfilled my eyeliner obligations. there were definitely some lazy days where i didn't even brush my hair. does wearing yesterday's eye make-up count?

2. Read a book
yes! for evidence of my ability to read, check out my Goodreads page.

3. Gain 100 pounds and apply to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser . . or, just stop dieting
oh man. my weird eating issues were all over the map this year. i did, for awhile, stop dieting . . . and then i got laid off and packed on some shame-eating pounds. not quite biggest loser proportions, though. i continue to try to be less neurotic about my weight . . . but this monkey on my back is just so damn cute! until it tries to tear my face off, that is.

4. Do dishes with some semblance of regularity
eh. like eyeliner -- there were lazy /busy days where the dishes sat in the sink overnite. there are no dishes in my sink right now though -- so lets call it victory! sort of.

5. Reach "Expert" level drumming for at least one Rock Band song
i've reached "Medium" level on a few Rock Band songs. laaaaame. but i fully intend to start a real Rock Band in the coming year, drumming skillz or not. so get ready.

6. Stay up later
check! now that i have no job, u will find me up all nite!

7. Shop more
lol -- i was doin' damn good with this until -- oh right! -- i got laid off. i'm beginning to see a theme here . . .

8. Be unapologetically proud of my tv watching and pop-culture obsessions
was this ever *not* true? obviously i'm a pop-culture whore. loud and proud!

9. Go to the beach

check!


it's funny to review where my mind was in january, as compared to now. i was so focused on the minutiae of my day to day existence, because so much of my time was eaten away by work. being banished from the cube has definitely given me perspective. i don't think i ever would have had the time / motivation to apply to graduate school if i'd still been locked away in my Corporate Dungeon. i think i've figured out a very big part of what i'm looking to do with my life, career-wise. 2010 will be all about putting the plans into action . . . assuming i get accepted to Librarian School. fingers crossed!

but we've still got all of December to go before tackling a whole new decade! i plan to live out the rest of this year just enjoying every moment as it comes. no dwelling on the events of the past 11 months, no freaking about what lies ahead. its the holiday season, goddamnit! and for the first time in a very long time, i feel like i have the opportunity to breathe and actually enjoy the festiveness.

so let's try for a Merry December, people!

shameful!

so this has obviously been Slacker month here at One Girl, 12 Ways.

matt said to me, "tea! you almost made it through the whole year!"

i don't think i've ever managed a year-long commitment to anything, so that'd truly be an accomplishment. i hang my head.

BUT -- i can always hope to redeem myself come December, yes? a chirstmas miracle! stay tuned!

until then, enjoy this video of paula deen eating a "burger", which i would argue is more shameful than my blog-lapse this month:

all dressed up, nowhere to go . . .

Scared yet?

Halloween is nearly upon us, people! Dispite my attempts to be on top of shit this year, I am once again clutching at costume straws. My most excellent Roller Derby Girl outfit is proving more challenging than I anticipated -- and that's ignoring the minor detail of my not knowing how to skate. So now it's time to come up with a Plan B -- but I'll be damned if I'm going to the Garment District this week. I'm a weird girl, I must have some wacky, costume-worthy shit around the house, right? Let's see . . .


Ok, this is what I managed to gather from my "dressing table":



Hmmm . . . how about a "fuzzy beast" costume?


(I actually bought this wolf hat to wear this winter. It's really warm. Also, I don't have to go into an office anymore . . . so I am a little out of touch with how "normal" people dress. Don't judge.)


Or maybe "Flapper of the Night"?


(This headdress was my great-grandma's from the 1930's, the fan was a gift from Julia's travels.)


"Washed Up Devil"? or "The Octomom's Oldest Child"?

(Yawn, I know. Horns came from Canobie Lake - they also light up. Badass!)


"Grizzly Sea Captain":

With Mermaid:


(Captain's Hat was picked up in Florida, the paper-mache mermaid was inherited from Mama G. Yarrrr!)



"Everyone's Favorite Revolutionary War Hero, Sam Adams":


Or, I could throw a sheet over my head and go as "The Spirit of the Revolution":

I'd have to be a taupe colored ghost, though.
(Tri-corn hat was a 4th of July accessory. Because I need hats for every holiday.)



Along the same vein, I could also be "The Spirit of New Orleans":

(Mask was a NOLA souvenir from Papa G, voodoo doll was also a NOLA gift from Julia.)



I seem to have small collection of these hats of the 1940's/1950's . . . perhaps I could be "Jackie O's Personal Secretary" or "An Extra on Mad Men" . . . or "Grandma, 1952":


(Both hats were, in fact, inherited from my grandma.)



Oh man . . . so many choices! Any further suggestions of stuff I can make with this rag-tag pile of weird hats?

No wonder I love Halloween. If this accessory collection is any indication, every freakin' day is like Halloween over here! It's true - I don't like to take myself or my fashion too seriously. Life's too short, people. Put on a wacky hat and go to the grocery store.

Actually . . . maybe I could wear one of these hats, some slippers, and a stained velour sweatsuit and go as "Crazy Woman in the Canned Food Aisle of Shaw's".

I like it.

down the rabbit hole

tap, tap. is this thing on?

is there anyone left out there?

many of you have been "reminding" me to blog for weeks now -- sorry it has taken me this long! i'm not dead - i'm not even suffering from the swine flu. i've simply been poking around inside my head for the past month. i am happy to report that things are starting to get sorted.

so . . . where were we?

when i last left ya'll it was Back to School month. while my plans to blog about all things educational failed miserably, i *did* manage to set in motion a true Back to School plan. i'm officially applying to grad school at Simmons for my Master of Library Science degree. every parent's dream, right? a librarian in the family!

i've been taking stock of all the things i truly enjoy doing: reading. sometimes writing. looking up crazy crap on the internet. entertainment. snarkiness. stand up comedy. i weighed these against the things i hated about my last job: a cubicle. suits. kissing the asses of my corporate overlords. working a gazillion hours a week to improve the company's bottom line and not my own.

based on my calculations, being a Young Adult librarian will allow me to focus on the things i love -- books, information, youth culture -- in an environment that is refreshingly far from corporate america. everybody wins!

so the past couple weeks have found me slowly pulling together all my application information, which has been slightly stressful. its been a long time since i've filled out a FAFSA form, or written an essay about my Career Goals. the ball is in motion, though -- and with any luck, i'll be polishing off the last few pieces of the application this week. then comes the financial part. anyone need a kidney? i'll sell ya one for $27,000.

i'm really excited about this new vision of my future! excited, and nervous. commitments of any sort freak me out -- perhaps that's why i've waited this long to seriously consider any sort of "long term" life plan. but now that i've set my cap on librarianship, i'm in love with the idea. i'll feel a lot better once the application process is complete, though. paperwork fills me with anxiety. and rage.

anyway -- we have now reached the month of October! insanity! where has the time gone?! the trees outside my window are all bare and brown, the Garment District is packed full of obnoxious college students. i need to get a jump on my costume plans, so i'm not frantically tearing through the leftovers three days before Halloween, like last year.

have i mentioned how much i love Halloween? i love it. a lot.

a few weeks ago, Miss A and i took a trip out to Wilmington to see the roller derby. which was amazing. while we were strolling the desolate streets from the train station to our dinner destination, Miss A took a good long look at the thoroughfare of car washes and crumbling strip malls and asked, "so, what did you do for fun here?"

i replied, "oh, you know . . . we'd walk to the library. or go hang out in the cemetery."

i didn't think of myself as one of those "goth" kids in high school -- i didn't wear black lipstick or eyeliner or listen to excessive amounts of the cure or anything -- but there has always been a whiff of the macabre about me. i was armed with a ouija board at age 9. i was the kid that other mothers would politely ask to stop scaring the rest of the sleepover guests. i looooved being scared. i loved blurring the line of reality and the unknown -- i dreamed of having some sort of supernatural experience. i wanted the ghost stories to come to life. thus, my passion for halloween.

also, there was free candy. so yeh -- ultimate holiday for spooky, chubby kids.

while i like to think that i've matured slightly over the years -- i no longer move the ouija board to make it spell the names of my friends' deceased pets -- my love of all things creepy remains strong. i still enjoy cemeteries and ghost stories. i still own a ouija board. i watched the episode of Ghost Hunters where they take Meat Loaf to a supposedly haunted island:
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so October is going to be Gothic Month here at One Girl, 12 Ways. that doesn't mean i'm out to rob a Hot Topic or anything -- its just the time of year to curl up with a good ghost story or go shuffle through the leaves in a big ol' new england cemetery. and before this month is over, i vow to do both.

and i vow to keep you better informed of my movements, blog-readers! i realize the end of the year is fast approaching, and i wanna keep the blog momentum rolling all the way into 2010!

anything is possible, right?